FEAR, DISTRACTIONS and ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY

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I can’t be the only whiney baby out there who goes through long…..LONG …Super duper long periods of time where I’m afraid to draw.   I don’t know why this happens.  Feelings of mediocrity and depression.   I find  things that I “have” to do before I can sit down to illustrate, address a manuscript, paint or basically do anything to advance my career.  It’s self sabotage.  

 This fear hurdle creeps up on me and then suddenly, I have to do the laundry..or redo the closets.   I find myself baking allot as well.   I can always legitimize why I’m not working.  I mean, I’m baking wonderful deserts because I love my kids and I want them to feel loved with homemade baked goods fresh from the oven.  

Ahhh good times right?   Well, I feel it’s time to kick myself in the pants.   Logically I know what I’m doing …so I have to work through it and force myself to sit in my art-room and do something other then play online dominoes.  I’ve decided to start Illustration Friday.   

 

This weeks topic came in the e-mail as it always does.  I usually look at the topic, think about what I  would do.  Feel satisfied with it and then do nothing about it.  That’s it!   Nothing ever happens.   But not this time.  This weeks topic is Hoard.    I usually try to not be so obvious, but  baby steps.  I didn’t want to stress over it.   Here is my rough sketch for hoard.  I will post the illustrations progress.  

 

 

I’ve messed around with it some more.

 

I’ve decided to keep my illustration Friday’s sketchy and free.   I want to keep lines, mistakes, and pencil marks.   I never turn in anything loose but I’ve always liked loose drawings.   This is now my exercise.   I’ve had to load the image with a digital camera.   My scanner no longer is compatible with my computer now that I’ve upgraded to Tiger.    I’ve also misplaced every single brush except one old crummy one.   I tried to paint watercolor, but it didn’t work in places with the fixative.   Where the watercolor wouldn’t adhere, I used markers.  Somethings worked, many things didn’t.  There are so many areas II would like to fix,  but I didn’t let it bother me and I moved forward.  It was a very freeing and relaxing exercise. 

 

   I can’t wait for next Friday.

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